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It's Christmastown


Apr 29, 2020

SARA KATE WILKINSON'S empire lies in ruins in the LOVE AND SUNSHINE (2019) and she's: Not buying Winnie Cooper ... THEME ... Deeply irritable ... Letters to Santa: They mentioned 9/11; a long way to get a dog in a house; wrong since Episode 3; can houses burn in Hallmark?; "A Season of Recovery" ... Troops without trauma ... A strange age scale ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... Quaid In Full plug ... Michael Caine in Jaws 4 ... Danica McKellar on podcast probation ... The Expositional Challenge ... Jordan in the air ... Plot Mop-Up: Landscaping job; overstuffed with ex-partners; reenlisting the dog; military golden retriever ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: Tricia Collins, Sunshine ... "We have politics about foster dogs" ... The Angels are in America ... Eat Your Heart Out: A diabetic party with lossless plates; bald eagle cupcakes; two-day welcome-home feast; Dear John apology pie; every possible dessert; three wine mentions; SURREAL SCREENSHOT; listener suggestions (memento mori; writer bubble fetish; Wuhan Virus); sugary lemonade; you just POURED the wine ... Agenda 21 ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Wedding planners (Episode 69); tulips, dogs, the Pacific Northwest and the military (Episodes 11, 18, 55, 57) ... Mark Deklin Intensity Appreciation Station ... Hallmark Made 9/11 happen ... Overdetermined: The 9/11 Trauma Swap; landscaping project summation; recapping relationships to a dog; "I guess we share more than a dog"; thank you for your service ... War on terraces ... BREAK ... Crossover: Jake Terry could appear in any action movie; or in Leave No Trace; the Parasite rock; an Iraq War town in the valley of Elah ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Passes within 90 seconds, fails for the rest ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Ben and Donna, pathological exes ... Great Moments in Moppetry: 3 ... LOOGY ... Chad Bradford arm error ... Rating: 2.5 ... So weighted with fetishized sacrifice that a light screenplay can't support it ... Two lives' chewed up by the machine ... Mythologized masculinity indivisible from patriotism ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Mark Deklin Appreciation Station #2 ... Pot your plants ... Pastel dog-washing hose ... Wife Chat: Dyeables shoes; sweatless workout; flowers that don't bloom at once; exposed deck picket ends; massive cheesecake; Danica cleans up after the party; engagement ring in pocket ... Ellie Kanner's LA comedy tie-in ... Infantilizing Bess Armstrong with technology ... "I have a debt I have to pay" ... War was challenging, but I made some buds ... Loving dogs isn't a personality ... Clawlike dog petting ... FBI sting fake movie ... "Based on a NYT mag article" ... Scientology ad ... Merry Christmas!  MUSIC: "Teenage Pregnancy," by Cake  "You Raise Me Up," by Josh Groban  "Let the Eagle Soar," by former US Attorney General John Ashcroft  All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane