Dec 10, 2020
BRANDI BROWN joins us for GARAGE SALE MYSTERY: THE ART OF MURDER (2017) and:
A message about our namechange.
THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather
PART ONE
Let's cancel! ... First, dead family, THEN pandemic ... April 13, 2019 ... Kill your computer ... Grandma troll wants the cusses ... Comic books and Hubert Humphrey
Break: "Hubert Humphrey," by The Knuckle Sandwiches
PART TWO
The Extra Hot Great podcast universe ... Lori Loughlin ... Hallmark samizdat ... Missing Loughlin ... Superutility Sarah Strange ... Weak mystery ... The Expositional Challenge ... Cast rundown ... Plot Mop-Up ... Giant warehouse, no job ... Sorority PTA ... College is high school; high school is college ... Cropsy ... Chunks of real effort ... Un-inventoried weird art in The Kingdom of Spiders
Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood
PART THREE
Spot the Angel/Criminal: Red paint Jackoff Pollock ... Work lazy, crime hard ... Do you have a fence? ... Just sell out! ... Angelic mom-volunteering ... Kappa Kappa Kappa ... Mom-Daughter casting ... Jackee, Jasmine Guy, Tatyana Ali ... Eat Your Heart Out: Vibrational food; Keith Raniere's cult vegetables; Kramer-like cop; pizza-order clowning; randomized plausible foods; raw eggplant; Dispensary Mysteries
Break: "Jammin'," by Bob Marley and The Simpsons
PART FOUR
Extremely shitty audio engineering ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: A Jen/Dani podcast; food truck universe; junk shop, Good Witch's shop, Anthropologie, a chocolatier ... Canadian accents in Louisiana, Missouri ... Overdetermined: Red paint; zesty hack; overdrawn "evil" stepdaughter ... Crossover: Sarah Strange for anything; NXIVM for food; Safe-like environmental sensitivity; Jen vs. Jessica Fletcher; Hallmark mystery Grand Slam ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Dani, the Dad ... Cartoon bear ... You never leave ... Actually, everyone's a replicant ... Hummuside
Break: "David Duke Is Running for President," by Skankin Pickle
PART FIVE
Who's the Real Villain: Helicopter parenting, underfunding the arts, toxic masculinity, lack of safety net ... Rating: 2.5 ... The Leftovers: What happened to the garage sale? ... Buying stolen goods ... Twin Peaks/Law & Order ominous tones ... Tina, gut-shot champ ... Director K.T. Donaldson ... Synchronized bedtime ... Congrats on the sex ... Buying classic cars for fun ... Meghan Markle's coming back ... Mortimer B. Croup ... Rich people inventory art ... Carrying Linwood's ass ... Mark Brandon Appreciation Station again ... Pete Wells ... Plugs ... Merry Christmas!
All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane