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It's Christmastown


Jun 12, 2019

Sara Rue makes the leap and joins the pantheon in ALL FOR LOVE (2017) and we must get buff for: The further vindication of Sara Kate Wilkinson ... THEME ... Semper Christmas ... Lorenzo Lamas is Snake Eater 2 ... Journalism isn't a prank call ... Getting fired ... Real troop tropes ... Will Sara Rue make The Leap into the Pantheon? ... Funny people in Hallmark humanely kidding the text ... The acting strictures of Hallmark rules ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge: The Most Beautiful Bean Footage ... Plot cleanup ... Sara Rue's second Hallmark quit ... Too slow on the five ... Pickup artist Chris Russo ... Mystery Francesa ... Spot the Angel: Teryl Rothery, editor publisher, matchmaker, secular angel ... Rothery as a condition ... Method writing ... The harrowing act of fact-checking ... Journalismism: No fact-checkers even for non-fiction; missing having editors; the shame of error; editorial motivation via appeal-to-emotion; Denim Dreams, The Fathom of a Heart; "writers have a whole team"; Lowell Bingely of the Manhattan Monitor; Glenn Greenwald, L. Brent Bozell III and the guy from First Things; a fully realized mad world ... BREAK ... Let Every Muscle in Your Body Get Strong: Was this authentic SEAL training?; lorem ipsum troop reverence next to a summer camp obstacle course; public park exercises; sorry-ass sit-ups; magenta top, bunny earmuffs; improper sore-muscle care; the Canadian vision of the US military; Tiny could blog; Yoda breathing; smell the Philadelphia daisy; yoga ignorance; the second woman in a bathing suit and man without a shirt; permanent 1990/childish cultural signifiers; flawless sore form, imbalanced SEAL ... Eat Your Heart Out: Housing an entire pizza; the debut of quasi-ramen; the Meat Lovers glisten; concentrating on high-lipid effluent; Steve Bacic's tremendous "have another slice" dad power ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: The Mistletoe Inn Workshop vs. The Tri-State Area Party Shopping Spree and networking ... Putting Sara Rue in floral prints ... Overdetermined: I'd rather be celibate than try again; we don't mention Todd; the Eternal Todd; couples field trip to The Todd; line-crossing meta-conversation; always knowing more than the leads ... Crossover: Colin in a post-9/11 fascist killfest; in the unit with Chris Kyle; not-remembering Navy Seals; positive Kevin Smith reference; heroic prisoner-stabbers ... BREAK ... Letters to Santa: Learning to ride a bike for love v. Carley's chocolate-sound correction, watch-along recommendation and a question about brain mush ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: A reluctant no, and a main character unconcerned about the outside world ... Nephew volcano expert and Murder He Wrote ... Maine accents ... Partner Chat: She's one of the "scared of everything" ones ... Rating: 2.5 ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Sara Kate's 9/11 theory, now and forever ... Kenyan Pirates vs. The Global Helpers ... Navy SEALS are not your props ... No GWOT, Hallmark's "The End of History" ... Not enough angry cops ... Chocolate reward ... Fearing international travel in the Tri-State Area ... Teen body paranoia in the pool ... Romance novelists know breasts ... Halls of Macadamia ... Thank you, Tiny ... David Bloom, Okja co-star ... Ten feet of silent valet parking ... Semper Christmas! ... • MUSIC: "The A-Team Theme," by Mike Post and Pete Carpenter • "Moon River," by Andy Williams • "Yes Sir, No Sir," by The Kinks • "Greetings (This Is Uncle Sam)," by The Monitors • "Fanfare for the Common Man," by Emerson, Lake and Palmer • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane