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It's Christmastown


May 8, 2019

It's podcast time, when TRUE LOVE BLOOMS (2019), andWe're resolving tension ... Baby arms ... So overdetermined it might be ironic ... Old Tampa actors ... THEME ... A Tampa Bay Hallmark movie! ... Authentic St. Petersburg ... You! The Tampa Kid! ... St. Pete skyline ... America's Most Floridian Hallmark Podcast ... BJ's Holocaust museum ... We liked it! ... Sara Rue Appreciation Station ... Jordan Bridges: Thicc Novak ... Fewer indoor cats, more unstoppable female force ... Matthew Diamond's great operas ... Jane the Virgin ... Our excellent regional opera ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge: Ace to see you ... Hallmark quitting over a minimalist designer ... Boyle v. Hewitt and Peppers v. Tomato ... Wrap it up ... Floral-print clothing signifiers ... Spot the Angel: Goose egg ... The Trauma Swap ... Eat Your Heart Out: This lasagne is just some stuff; carrot cake; normal coffee; thankless minority best friend in a Friday's; proportional pasta; questionably toasted peppers ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Abortive start; transcontinental tulips; talking yourself into golden beets; ramp reprise; Ice-T being a dick ... Crossover: John Sayles's Community Garden; problematizing and unpacking; "Chace Devine"; Lethal Weapon 3 as the bridge; Lethal Weapon 2, race, class and gender dynamics ... BREAK ... Overdetermined: Insane opening expository intensity vs. a troika of quotes ... Condos, buildings, your dead mother ... Home & hearth scantron ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Vikki is THE force ... Letters to Santa: Well-wishes; favorite music cue; NPR; Chris Collingwood Appreciation Station; what goes where? ... Slip-sliding away ... Rating: 4 ... Always making choices ... Sara Rue can slice you in half with a broadsword ... A one-act movie ... Chace Devine's moment of insight ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Buildings have concrete in them ... Hawaii sounds like Florida ... Dogma 95 ... The Lumineers ... A St. Pete community leader would know every developer, who wouldn't care ... St. Pete's homeless problem ... Pinellas County's Purity of Essence ... Where's Rick Kriseman? ... BREAK ... The Ladybug Release, a True Event ... Denis Leary's Merry F*ckin' Christmas ... Exorcist III Appreciation Station ... Jeb heroically restrains himself from mentioning that William Peter Blatty wrote A Shot in the Dark again ... Very lazy sneak-in ... Captain Morgan needs a bigger shirt ... Mark (and this movie) loves job-creators ... Gardens don't bring in the green ... Thomas Cromwell's padlock ... The Spirit of the Universe vs. The Green Boys and Company ... Michigan ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "She Wandered Through the Garden Fence," by Procol Harum • "Ramp! (The Logical Song)," by Scooter • "My Secret Garden," by Depeche Mode • "Mind Gardens," by The Byrds • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane