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Dave and Jeb Aren't Mean


Feb 23, 2019

ANDY LEVY returns for 2018's A SHOE ADDICT'S CHRISTMAS and: Letting go of Frasier ... Bad movie choice ... Donnie, Andy Richter, Otho ... The Candace Cameron effect ... Not a real shoe addict ... Jean Smart co-stars as Jeb's mother-in-law ... BREAK ... The Expositional Challenge ... WWII-era American ethnic slurs ... Plot cleanup: Jake and Noelle's stymied fun party ... Photographer, HR Director ... Hallmark's job/hobby false dichotomy ... Save me from complete prosperity ... Murder your balls/sweetie, show feetie ... Jean Smart, peak literal angel ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: Sneaky multiple angels, angel relief, angel hierarchy ... Classic Lines: Rude-ass shoes; the worst shoe-toilet in Scotland; $690 for white-tiger-ass shoes; Candace Cameron looks terrific; "keep it fun"; about $900/outfit; CandyCams-brand apron product placement ... Do We Have A Section On Theology?: Inconsistent angelic rules; if you ask an angel if he's an angel, he has to say yeah; The Archangel Dark Web ... Unintentional horror movie ... Darren Aronofsky's "Shoe Addict's Christmas!" ... Charlie/Charlene ... BREAK ... Eat Your Heart Out: Breakfast breads; mustard on the meat; the world's saddest sandwich; meat dilation; a successful chain of hot dog stands; Humphrey Yogurt ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Wallace Shawn and Jean Smart, workplace buds vs. Candace Cameron as her own aunt via time comet ... Letters to Santa: The prop coin of Wallace Shawn from Episode #04 ... Overdetermined: "Every pair of shoes tells a story" vs. "You have to make decisions, but here's your determined fate" vs. "Pretty people are owed happiness" and "Take a risk by being a dick" ... Kidnap a guy ... Crossover: Mulholland Drive vs. Kickboxing Night at the Museum ... BREAK ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: No; but maybe talking to her dad; but DON'T BUY divine intervention ... The Leftovers: Firefighter weather control ... Vanishing taxis ... Heilmark or Reichsmark ... Luke Macfarlane's Tom Brady vibe ... Apartment dad jokes ... Two layers on in a two-horse open sleigh ... Most Inspiring Photo contest ... Lorem Ipsum songs ... Batman Returns ... Matt & Chloe app ... Spot the Second Black Person ... Ex-boyfriend Dan Bongino ... Rating: 2 ... Merry Christmas ... • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "Good Ol' Shoe" by Edgar Winter • "Boogie Shoes," by KC and the Sunshine Band • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane