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It's Christmastown


Jan 11, 2019

NORTHERN LIGHTS OF CHRISTMAS (2018) rings in our new year with: Geraldine Somerville appreciation station ... Slacking on good movies, transcribing bad ones ... THEME ... Catching up ... A powerfully soporific movie ... Bread Alert ... Let's talk sourdough ... Not a freaky bread sicko ... Mr. Frodo, the sourdough starter ... "Oh, it's the water" ... Distracting from your own shortcomings ... BREAK ... Ashley Williams and Corey Sevier appreciation station ... Gosford Park ... More Michael Gambon murders wanted ... The Expositional Challenge: Easy! ... That reindeer was no angel ... How I Met Your Mother: Dad's complete sexual history; the en-loathsomed main character; Liberal Arts; Ashley Williams jobbed out; too charming for her lead ... The Seinfeld Conundrum ... Missing Anne Heche ... "Do you have a reindeer problem?" ... Missing the overprogrammed Christmas activities ... BREAK ... Spot the Angel: It takes a village??? ... Malcolm Gladwell Sucks: An Interlude ... Eat Your Heart Out: One coffee point and a peppermint follow-up ... The Art Hindle Cronenberg gallery ... Binaca flan ... BREAK ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Zoey's charter flights for outbound Hallmark people ... Overdetermined: Everything is Gus vs. Bailing on the "fest" as a sales gimmick ... Crossover: David Mamet vs. Anne Heche ... The Swagony of Defeat: Is Zoey getting double miles? ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Like, probably yes, but also it's probably Ashley Williams' work ... Easy to get pumice ... Morel agita ... BREAK ... The Leftovers: Cold vs. Not-Cold ... Dissonant wine bottles ... Lambrusco ... Secret cornflake cookies ... They're playing our song, "Joy to the World" ... Forgetting cape things ... Rating: 3 ... Merry Christmas • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • "If U Want It," from Cyber-Vision, by Drew Fairweather • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane